Logan and Veronica, Ten Years Down the Road
by lgar
Summary: Six years after disappearing from his life, Veronica is forced to confront Logan and the secrets she's desperately been trying to hide from him. Once her secrets are revealed, their lives are thrown into all too familiar chaos.
1. Chapter 1

**Rob Thomas owns everything. This is my first story so I would appreciate feed back. Also, if anyone wants to pre-read this stuff, I would be grateful. Thanks!**

**Reunion**

Veronica entered her studio and let out a sigh. Her studio usually gave her a great sense of peace, but, then again, she usually was completely in control in her studio. Today she was going to have to deal with some twit from _Vanity Fair_ who would undoubtedly have endless opinions about what outfits and what poses and what shadowing Veronica should use for this shoot. She absolutely _hated_ doing celebrity shoots for magazines. She was asked often enough, though, her work being _just_ famous enough for the artsy, glitzy crowd to feel superior for having _discovered _such a great talent before anyone else.

Of course, Veronica's work, mostly consisting of landscapes and candid shots of strangers, had had a cult following for years. But, when she first moved to London at the age of 22, she had started out as a photographer's assistant at a rather glamorous magazine. As such, she had gained quite the reputation as a portrait photographer in a small, well-to-do circle, and she had done portraits fairly steadily in her early years as a way to pay the bills. Her first portrait for a private party had actually been of the daughter of the editor of _Vanity Fair_. She had done more for other of the elite in London after that. Now that what she thought of as her _real_ photography had caught the eye of a few famous buyers and she had become more well-known, she was practically hounded by the more upscale magazines to put her portrait skills to work.

Over half the time, she told the magazines no. This particular request, however, was hard to turn down. For one thing, the editor had called her personally, reminding her of the long ago portrait she had done of her daughter and how, for all intents and purposes, that job had allowed Veronica to continue to pursue the work she really loved while making money doing portrait work for the wealthy. For another, this shoot was for an accompanying article about an upcoming movie that had really caught her attention. From what she had gleaned from the packet sent to her to prepare her for the shoot, this movie was a smart, witty take on the California teenage scene with a dark, twisty secret to make it all interesting. Although she didn't know the entire story (apparently the details where being well-hidden to preserve the shock, twist-ending) the entire thing struck a chord with her, reminding her of her own teenaged years spent in California.

If she was totally honest with herself, there was also the fact that Logan Echolls was one of the actors involved in the movie. He apparently played the grown up counter-part of one of the teenagers - the movie being split between flashbacks and the characters' future lives. Of course, Veronica absolutely did not want to see Logan, not after so much pain and so much time, but she couldn't help but be drawn by the idea of him. So, when she was politely asked (badgered, forced, whatever) to do a shoot of Logan's co-star, Alyssa Edwards, she had said yes. The yes coming only after she had been assured, with perplexed looks from the aide brokering this deal, that Logan Echolls would be no where near London when this shoot took place.

"Stuart, I'm so sorry I'm late! There was some huge to-do going on in my neighborhood and it made it impossible to get to the metro," Jane, Veronica's assistant, called breathlessly as she rushed through the door, carrying two large messenger bags and a smaller camera bag.

Veronica's head snapped up as she was abruptly pulled from her reverie. She mentally kicked herself at the half second it took her to respond to the name Stuart. She hadn't gone by Veronica Mars for six years, changing her name to Stuart Reynolds in an attempt to remain hidden and anonymous. The thoughts of Logan that this job brought front and center in her mind had been dragging her more and more into thoughts of her past. Sometimes it was easy to forget that she was a completely different person now and didn't want anything to do with _Veronica_, the weak, abandoned, unwanted girl from California. She had completely changed her life and she was happy now. She didn't want to be pulled back into some of the most painful, tumultuous times of her life.

"No problems, Jane," Veronica brushed off Jane's worries. "No one from _Vanity Fair_ is showing up for another hour or so. I just wanted a little time to get everything set up and find my Zen before things get hectic. You know how these things can go." Jane had been Veronica's assistant for a couple of years and had been present for exactly three celebrity photo shoots. Jane found it all to be incredibly exciting but understood that her boss had much different feelings.

"Can you believe that we get to meet Alyssa Edwards?" Jane gushed, her fan girl never far from the surface. "She is _so_ beautiful. I would kill to have hair like that, so dark and long and shiny. How do you think she gets it to look like that?"

"She gets it to look like that through a combination of wonderful genetics, very talented beauticians, and the best products money can buy," Veronica stated flatly, unimpressed. "Trust me, you're hair would probably be twice as gorgeous if you had access to everything she does." Veronica couldn't help but smile at her assistant's exuberance. Jane hadn't become immune to all of the beauty and glamour that movie stars had to carry around as part of their jobs. Veronica, having spent much time at Logan's house in her early teen years, with both Lynn and Aaron, knew that the beauty and glamour was, more times than not, nothing more than a well polished costume, donned for the public. The truth that lurked underneath was not always so pretty.

"Do you think that she'll talk about Logan Echolls? Have you heard the rumor that they're an item now?" Jane sounded slightly disappointed. She had an enormous crush on one Logan Echolls and was beside herself that she was going to get to meet someone who had worked so closely with him. She couldn't help, however, but be a little crushed that some other girl was with him, now matter how remote the possibility that Jane herself would meet him and that he would fall madly in love.

Veronica looked down at the camera and tripod she was adjusting and swallowed, "No, I hadn't heard. I don't usually follow the tabloids." She tried hard to suppress the feelings of jealousy that came unbidden at the mention of Logan's love life.

"Oh, right. I guess you don't really have time for silly stuff like that," Jane brushed off Veronica's embarrassing lack of knowledge as to celebrity goings on.

"I guess it would be nice for him to finally find someone to settle down with, " she went on grudgingly. "He just seems so tragic with that awful woman Hannah leaving him and that horrible custody battle. What kind of woman would try to completely cut off contact between father and son? Especially when the father is someone wonderful like Logan Echolls?"

Veronica swallowed again, looking away from Jane. "You know you don't have to keep on calling him by both his first and his last name, right? As a matter of fact, maybe you should start practicing calling Alyssa Edwards _just_ Alyssa. It might be a little awkward if you fan girled out in front of her."

Veronica paused for a second, debating whether to put her other thoughts into words before finally pushing forward, "And remember that sometimes people have reasons that we don't know about. That woman might have thought she was protecting her child." The words were quiet and delivered to the far corner of the room, over Jane's right shoulder.

Jane's cheeks flushed as she looked down at her shoes, "Right, of course, I'm sorry, forget I said anything…"

Before Veronica could try to dissipate the awkwardness that had descended on the room, voices drifting in from the hallway caught both women's attention.

"Oh, they're early," Jane commented, relieved at the distraction.

Veronica, however, was frozen, all of the color draining from her face. She could pick out the voices of three females so far, but it was the one male voice that made her heart first stop and then speed as if it would burst. She was still standing with her back to the door when Jane answered their knock. She busied herself by fiddling with a light diffuser as the assistant from _Vanity Fair_ that she had been dealing with introduced Jane to the group. When the aide, Stacy she remembered, introduced no other than Logan Echolls to Jane and Veronica heard a little squeal followed by a heartbreakingly familiar chuckle, a cold sweat formed at her hairline.

"Stuart…Stuart," Stacy called, trying to get Veronica to come meet Logan and Alyssa. Veronica slowly turned, a tremor running through her hands that she couldn't control and the undeniable look of fear in her eyes.

"Oh my god, I'm such a fan…" Alyssa began to gush. She was cut off by Logan's quite voice.

"_Veronica_" he almost whispered, the one word filled with wonder and tentative hope.

Veronica unwillingly raised her eyes to meet Logan's. Before she could form words, Logan was across the room and had wrapped her in bone crushing hug, burying his face into her hair.

"Veronica? Veronica!" his words were sounding a little hysterical with a tinge of tears. "Oh my god, Veronica! I can't believe it's you! I looked everywhere for you. I thought you were dead." All of this was delivered into Veronica's hair while he rocked her back and forth in his arms. He seemed to be completely oblivious to Veronica's stiff posture or the gaping group of women standing on the far side of the room.

He finally released Veronica and held her at arms length, staring into her face expectantly.

"Hello, Logan," Veronica managed to choke out weekly.

"Stuart…Stuart, what's going on," Jane asked, worried by her mentor's pallid face and shiny, panicky eyes.

Veronica, grateful for the distraction from Logan's intense stare, broke away from his grasp and walked around him towards an aghast looking Stacy, a stunned Alyssa and Jane, and a woman with a gleeful expression slowly stretching across her face. Veronica could only assume that the final woman was the writer assigned to the article and her mind was, at this very moment, threading this unexpected twist into her narrative.

"Stacy, I was specifically promised that Logan Echolls would not be present at this shoot!" Veronica bit out a little more sharply than she intended.

"Oh, I hope it's not a problem," Stacy stammered, trying to sound as innocent as possible. "It turned out he was in town visiting Alyssa and we just couldn't pass up the opportunity to have both of them in the shoot for the article…" Stacy seemed to wilt slightly under Veronica's death glare.

In the mean time, Alyssa hurried towards Logan, whose original stunned expression had began to show signs of confusion and hurt at Veronica's words.

"Logan, what's going on? Do you know her? Why are you calling her Veronica?" Alyssa asked as quietly as she could. Logan continued staring at Veronica, anger beginning to enter the mix of emotions on his face. "Logan, that woman's name is Stuart Reynolds. You've seen some of her work at my apartment. I don't know who you think she is but I doubt you know her…" her voice trailed off when Logan leveled his gaze, now more dominated by anger rather than any other emotion, at her.

"Veronica!" Logan barked toward the group of women who were still arguing in quite hisses near the door of the studio. "Veronica, look at me!"

Veronica once again turned toward Logan, her heart hammering in her throat and hot tears stinging her eyes, threatening to well up at any second. She flinched when she saw the anger of his gaze directed towards her. She hadn't seen his gaze so intense with hatred since high school.

"Where have you been?" his voice was now low and demanding. "I haven't seen you in six years. You apparently decided to go abroad senior year without telling me and then you just dropped off the face of the earth? Now you're going by Stuart Reynolds and you're some kind of famous photographer with a cult following? What the hell, _Veronica_!" The last question was yelled, with extra emphases on her name.

Veronica flinched again at his angry words. "Calm down, Logan," she said as soothingly as she could. "There might be a few things we need…"

"A _few things_?" Logan spit out disbelievingly. "There may be a _few things_ that what…that I might want to know, that I have questions about? How about a _few things_ that I have a _right_ to know!"

Veronica's tempter flared at his words. "You don't have _a right_ to know anything about me! We weren't even talking when I decided to leave. _You_ had made the decision not to be a part of my life anymore so you lost _the right_ to know anything about me!"

"Bullshit!" Logan was now yelling at the top of his lungs. Alyssa was looking at him with a horrified expression on her face, never having seen him lose his temper to this extent. Stacy, Jane and the writer were exchanging worried glances behind Veronica's back. "We lived together for _three years_! We were together for _six_! I think that earns me the right to know when you're going to skip town! " Logan's words were now accompanied by emphatic hand gestures, one pulling through is hair while the other punctuated certain words by stabbing at the air.

Veronica heard Jane gasp to her right, but did not look over. Her vision was beginning to tinge with red as her own anger rose. The bitterness and hurt that she had worked so hard to overcome were flooding back into her psyche, overwhelming her and making her feel like the hurt and desperate girl she had been at twenty-two.

"No one knew where you were," Logan continued more quietly, losing some of his steam. "Wallace and Mac were just as clueless as me. Your dad…you didn't even tell me he was sick and then I find out that he _died_?" Logan couldn't hide the deep pain at the mention of Keith's death. "Needless to say, he couldn't pass along any information about your whereabouts," a bitter, choked laugh escaped him. Logan looked at Veronica with his own tears welling in his eyes. "I looked for you for years. I hired PI's, I tried all of the tricks you had taught me, Wallace and Mac helped me… I couldn't find any trace of you. I…I thought you were dead." The last part is barely a choked whisper.

"Ok," Stacy's voice breaks the following silence. "It's obvious that you two have some history that you might need to sort out." She cleared her throat trying to ignore what a huge understatement that probably was. "Why don't the rest of us go get some breakfast and leave you two to talk. Just remember, Stuart," she said, using Veronica's new name and giving her a pointed look, "we need to get this photo shoot done by the end of the day tomorrow. Alyssa has a very busy schedule and this is the only time we could get the two of you in the same place." No matter what was going on between Logan Echolls and this woman, who's real name was apparently Veronica, Stacy had a job to get done and she wouldn't let someone else's drama derail her.

Finished with her speech and satisfied she had made her point that work could not be compromised by whatever soap opera was unfolding, she hustled the other women out of the room. Alyssa looked like she was going to protest, glancing uneasily between Logan and Veronica, both of their faces seething with emotion, but followed the other women out of the door without much hesitation.

Before she left, a wide-eyed Jane touched Veronica's sleeve. "Are you going to be all right? Do you want me to stay?" she all but whispered, casting a furtive glance at Logan.

"No…no, I'll be fine," Veronica tried to assure her, swallowing thickly and doing little to convince Jane that anything at all was fine.

A moment later, Logan and Veronica were left alone in the studio, staring at each other for the first time in six years.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Veronica_," Logan choked out again, his emotions swinging back from anger to astonishment and relief once again. "Veronica…oh god!" he had Veronica in his arms again in less than a second. Veronica, overwhelmed with so many conflicting emotions let out a ragged sob into his chest.

"I can't believe you're really here. I…I really thought you were dead. Everyone…_Everyone_ told me I had to stop looking for you or I'd drive myself crazy." Once again he pulled back so he could look into her face. "I know that we were broken up…Hell, I even understand _why _you left me," a small, wry smile graced his face as he shook his head, "but why wouldn't you tell me you were leaving? Why didn't you tell me about your dad? Why did you change your name? I just don't understand…"

He trailed off at the incredulous look Veronica was shooting him through the tears steadily coursing down her face.

"Why _I_ broke up with _you_? Why I didn't tell you about my dad? Why I didn't tell you that I was leaving?" Veronica's voice rose with each word, breaking with anger and pain. "Is _that_ how you remember things happening?"

"Yes," Logan stated resolutely. He had thought about their break up and the subsequent events repeatedly throughout the years and he was absolutely confident that he had sorted out the time line of events, piecing together bits of information from his own foggy brain and others offered from various friends. "You were gone for a couple of days at the beginning of the semester senior year and I couldn't get in touch with you. Then, I come home one day and you'd completely moved out." Logan let a little of the hurt and accusation he was feeling creep into his tone despite his best efforts.

Veronica opened her mouth to respond but Logan cut her off, "Dick said he saw you right before you took your stuff and you wouldn't talk about what was going on." Logan paused again, trying to choke back the tears he felt in the back of his throat. "I _know_ I was fucking up…I know I was drinking too much and not talking to you like I should, but how could you just _leave_? I loved you so much and you just _left_ without a word. And then," here Logan's voice did choke around a sob, "I had to find out Keith had died by going to your old apartment looking for you! He was like a dad to me and you didn't even tell me he was _sick_!? I didn't get to say goodbye!"

Veronica was breathing heavily, trying not to sob uncontrollably but unable to stem the tears flowing down her face. "My god, Logan, is that really what you think happened? Are you _delusional_?"

Veronica's question, her tone of voice, and the sheer pain on her face made Logan remain quite. Admittedly, he had been drinking a lot at the time but he was pretty sure he wasn't that far off base with his version of events.

"True, I left to visit Dad at the end of September without telling you I was leaving. I didn't tell you I was leaving because you had been a prize asshole to me, you had been on a week long bender, and when I caught you making out with another girl, you told me I was a crazy bitch!" Veronica could still feel the humiliation and betrayal freshly as if everything had just happened. "Besides, I was only planning on being gone for a few days."

_Flashback:_

_Veronica tracked Logan to his fraternity house where, Dick had informed her, some huge party was being thrown. Dick himself had been on the way and had offered her a ride. Having lived with Logan and Veronica for the past couple of years, Dick was vaguely sympathetic to Veronica's distress when Logan went on one of his benders and this one had been bad enough that even Dick was a little worried. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they walked towards the fraternity house, giving her a rough squeeze. _

"_Don't worry, 'Ronickins. He'll be back to normal soon. I think he might be having a hard time with his dad," Dick trailed off a little uncertainly. He wasn't really sure how to talk about Aaron Echoll's death with Veronica, who had every right to be ecstatic that the son of a bitch had been killed in prison. _

"_Thanks, Dick. I just wish he would talk to me about it," Veronica gave Dick a small smile. "I realize it might be a little awkward, but I mean, I understand if he's…sad…or whatever." Veronica was nothing but relieved that the vile man who had killed Lilly and attempted to kill her and her father was dead. But, she wasn't heartless. She could at least listen to Logan and try to sympathize with his feelings, whatever they may be, about his father's death._

_She gave Dick's hand a squeeze and then set off in search of Logan. He hadn't been home in two days and she was starting to get more than a little worried. He had had these type of benders early on in their college days but, until recently, he had been much calmer. Usually he limited his drinking to a few nights a week and almost never got blackout drunk anymore. In the last week, though, when she had seen Logan, he had been almost incoherent. She was pretty sure that he must have been sleeping at the fraternity house, but she couldn't be sure and she was worried._

_She scanned the rooms filled with people. Everyone was drinking, laughing, dancing. The music was blaring through speakers placed in every room and she could feel the base line pounding through her feet. She was just about to step out onto the back deck when a familiar slope of shoulder caught her eye. She stopped in her tracks and stared into the corner, where her boyfriend of five years was wrapped around another girl. She watched, as if transfixed, as Logan's hand made its way under the blonde's shirt, kneading the girl's breast while he continued kissing her deeply. The girl, who Veronica did not recognize, snaked her hand downwards and stroked Logan's erection through his jeans. _

_Veronica's breath caught and tears of betrayal and hurt welled in her eyes as she watched Logan break the kiss only to move his mouth to suck hotly on the other girl's neck. He was now grinding rhythmically into the girl's hand. Both parties seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that they had a whole room full of people as their audience. As if she had no control over her body, Veronica took one tentative step towards the writhing couple, and then another. Without quite knowing how, she had reached the couple and stood within reach of Logan's shoulder. _

_Veronica's hand appeared before her face, to her great astonishment, reaching out to tentatively tap Logan's shoulder. _

"_Back the fuck off!" Logan yelled angrily without turning to see who was interrupting his fun._

_The girl with Logan opened her big, blue eyes to find out what was going on. She looked into Veronica's tear filled eyes, surprised for a second, before she smirked and closed her eyes again, letting out a moan for good measure._

"_Logan?" Veronica's voice sounded rusty, like she hadn't spoken in days. At the sound of Veronica's voice, Logan immediately turned around with a goofy grin on his face. Veronica could immediately tell by his glazed eyes and the reek of bourbon and pot that Logan was severely wasted. _

"_Veronica!" Logan slurred her name happily. "I've been looking for you! I miss you." He enveloped Veronica in a hug, resting most of his weight on her shoulders. Veronica staggered under his weight and tried to push him back._

"_Logan, what are you doing?" she hated that she was crying, that he had made her cry in front of all of these people. She could feel eyes boring into the back of her head and she was sure that they had drawn the attention of a more than a few occupants of the room._

_Logan grinned at her, "I'm just hanging out with my new friend," his face crumpled into a confused expression, "maybe an old friend…I can't remember. Anyway," he shook off his momentary uncertainty, "I think you're really going to like her." Still keeping one hand on Veronica's shoulder, he placed his free arm around the girl who had yet to flee the increasingly awkward situation. Veronica stared at the girl through her tears. She was taller than Veronica, almost painfully thin, with dark blond hair reaching down her back and wide blue eyes. She looked a little familiar but Veronica couldn't place her. For the girl's part, she snuggled into Logan's embrace and narrowed her eyes at Veronica._

"_Do you two know each other?" she said innocently to Logan._

_Logan, looking startled at the question, responded, "Of course, this is Ver-o-nic-a." He overemphasized her name. He aimed another affectionate smile at Veronica and squeezed her shoulder._

"_Logan," Veronica started again, he voice slightly stronger, "why are you _making out_ with your new friend?"_

_Logan looked at her incredulously and then looked back at the other girl, scrunching his eyebrows together, "That can't be true, Veronica, I would never do that to you." He grinned, laughing a little as he realized that he had rhymed. _

"_I just saw you, Logan. You told me to fuck off when I tried to ask you about it!" Veronica couldn't keep her voice from rising. She couldn't believe he was trying to deny what had just happened._

"_That can't be true, Ronnie. I only love you," Logan's smile was back, pleased that he had figured out that Veronica was obviously messing with him, and that he had rhymed yet again. He attempted to tap her on the nose but missed and pushed his finger into the corner of her mouth. Veronica batted his hand away angrily._

_In the mean time, the girl had wrapped her arms around Logan again and begun sucking his neck. Instead of stopping her, Logan closed his eyes on a moan and covered the girl's hand with his where she was rubbing it up and down Logan's erection, which could clearly be seen through his jeans. Veronica stared wide-eyed at the spectacle before her. She knew beyond a doubt that Logan must be in some kind of blackout state because he wasn't making any sense. That, and Logan would usually rather cut off his own hand than make her cry. It still didn't hurt any less to see him all over some other girl. She couldn't help but wonder how many times this type of thing had happened, if he had fucked other girls while he was blacked out, never remembering a thing so there was nothing to feel guilty about._

"_You can leave any time you want," the girl's voice was quiet but mocking. She was staring right at Veronica with a superior smirk while she continued to jack Logan through his pants._

"_Logan, please. You need to come home with me," Veronica attempted weakly._

_All of a sudden Logan's mood did a complete 180 and he yelled at Veronica, "What the fuck are you talking about, _Veronica_! You need to quit being a crazy bitch and leave me the fuck alone!"_

_Veronica reeled back as if she had been slapped, stunned that Logan could yell at her while he was basically getting a hand job from another girl. Unwilling to provide further entertainment to the crowded room, or worse yet, photographic evidence to be sold to some trashy tabloid, she turned on her heel and walked toward the front door. They had been amazingly successful at avoiding publicity, seeing that they were attending school in LA, but every once in a while a story about Logan Echolls and the girl who had famously put his father behind bars would show up in the tabloids or one of the entertainment shows. Both Logan and Veronica hated it and it had gotten exponentially worse sense Aaron was murdered in prison._

_As she walked hurriedly toward the front door, she saw Dick standing by the bar and took a quick detour. "Dick, I think Logan might need to go home."_

_Dick took in Veronica's tear stained cheeks and obviously distressed demeanor and quickly led her to the front porch where it was slightly quieter. "What's going on, Veronica? Are you all right?"_

_Veronica looked at Dick, trying to decide how much to confide in him. Their relationship had been rocky, to say the least, and things were just starting to get to the point of a real friendship. She had never told Logan about the role Dick played in her rape, even after she found out that Beaver, Dick's little brother, had taken his turn that night along with Duncan. She preferred not to think about that night at all and to pretend that Logan was her one and only. It had been hard to tow that party line, though, when she found out she had Chlamydia and had ruled out both Duncan and Logan through some awkward questioning and, in Logan's case, dated test results from not long before they began sleeping together. She was sure that Logan hadn't been cheating on her, not because she had blindly trusted him back then, but because she had thoroughly checked out that angle before she had approached him about the STD. It turned out that Beaver had been hiding a whole host of dirty deeds to go along with raping Veronica. Veronica and her father, after discovering that Beaver had been molested by the Mayor of Neptune, Woody Goodman, when Woody was Beaver's little league coach, proved that Beaver was behind the murders of two of their class mates and Woody Goodman, himself. _

_Once Veronica caught up with Beaver after putting the final puzzle pieces together, she again found herself facing a killer without any back-up. She laid out the evidence behind the murders and to top it off, spit at Beaver that she knew he had raped her. Beaver pointed out that she would be the only one who knew since he was going to kill her. At the time, he seemed to have a good point since he was pointing a gun directly at Veronica's head. If it hadn't been for the fact that she was late to meet Logan and he had been worried about her lately due to her involvement in the murder investigations, Beaver probably _would_ have killed her. Instead, Logan had used some of the PI smarts she had taught him, tracked her cell phone, and saved her, the two of them wrestling the gun away from Beaver. Unfortunately, Beaver had slipped away while Logan was checking Veronica to make sure that no permanent damage had been done. He had gone straight to the tallest building in Neptune and stepped over the edge, unwilling to deal with the aftermath of his discovery. _

_Ever since then, through guilt and a sense of loyalty, Logan had been unable to deny anything to Dick. That is actually how Veronica found herself sharing a condo with both Logan and Dick instead of having the second bedroom as a study as originally planned. _

_She blinked, deciding Dick didn't need to know too much. "No, I'm not really all right. But, Logan's even worse. I think he definitely needs to stop drinking and probably needs to go sleep it off."_

"_Why don't you take him home?" Dick asked, not being a jerk, just curious._

"_He doesn't want me to take him home, and you know I can't make him," Veronica shifted her gaze so that she was looking over his left shoulder instead of holding his gaze._

_Dick reached out and rubbed Veronica's arm, "Hey, don't worry about it. I'll get him home. You can sleep in my room if you want to, and I'll take the couch."_

"_No, that's all right. Just make sure he makes it home. I want to make sure he's safe but I also want to make sure he doesn't decide to go to some club and make an ass out of himself in front of the paparazzi again. That's the last thing he needs right now, with all the added attention from Aaron's death." Veronica drew in a deep, shaky, breath and let it out, determined to remain calm and refusing to cry as the image of Logan groping the tall, blonde girl flashed through her mind. It wouldn't be the end of the world if pictures like that ended up in the tabloids, it would just be extremely embarrassing for her._

"_I've got to go," Veronica choked out as she turned and hurried away from the fraternity house._

**A/N – If you couldn't tell, I've kind of re-written history. Since I don't think I made everything abundantly clear in my writing, here are the important points. Logan and Veronica never broke up after the first season. Aaron Echolls was convicted and was then killed in prison right before this story started. There was no bus crash but Beaver did kill a couple of students to keep his secret covered up. Veronica figured it out, found out that he was the one who raped her (along with Duncan b/c really, that was rape) and Logan saved her. Then Beaver committed suicide instead of facing the consequences. There, I think that should cover all of the changes I made to the series.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Veronica continues to explain it all –

Logan blinked at her. He truthfully didn't remember any of what she was telling him. But then again, she was right, he had been on a pretty big bender around that time. Aaron had just been killed in prison and Aaron's agent had been hounding him to read for a part in a new film. He had been completely overwhelmed and he didn't know what to say to Veronica, knowing how much she hated his father. That, plus the constant tabloid attention had been too much for him to deal with.

"I hadn't been able to get in touch with dad on my way to Neptune but I knew that he said he was going to be in town so I wasn't worried," Veronica continued. "But when I finally got to the apartment, I found Dad lying unconscious on the kitchen floor." Veronica was speaking between sobs now, reliving the extremely painful memories.

"His head was split open from where he hit the counter when he passed out. There was blood everywhere. I called 911 and he was rushed him to the hospital." Veronica lifted her eyes back to Logan's, hurt and accusation burning in them. "I called you. I called over and over again. You never picked up and you never called back."

_Flashback:_

_Veronica stabbed at the end button to disconnect her call to Logan before she was forced to leave a message. She had already left him ten messages, begging him to call her back, to come to Neptune, to help her. It had been three days since she had ridden with her father in the ambulance on the way Neptune Memorial, and she had yet to hear from Logan. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her roiling emotions - fear, sadness, helplessness and anger bubbling like acid in her empty stomach – and walked back into her father's room._

"_Hi, Dad," Veronica spouted cheerfully. "You're finally up!" Her father had been in and out of consciousness for the past three days, mostly due to the heavy sedatives the doctors had prescribed him to deal with the pain that he had apparently been suffering from for quite some time now. Veronica had been blinded-sided by the fact that her father had been hiding some kind of illness from her. She understood that he wouldn't want to worry her with an extra burden through this little stretch, but she still felt betrayed that he would keep something so potentially important from her._

"_Hey, honey," Keith replied weakly. "These pain meds are making me feel A-OK but I just can't seem to keep my eyes open." Keith's voice was soft, the edges rounded off due to the drugs. Veronica was intimately familiar with that speech pattern, first from her mother, and most recently from Logan. Her heart squeezed a little at the thought of Logan. She was worried about him and mad at him. She would be more worried if it weren't for the fact that any serious injuries would have been immediately reported on _E!

"_I'm so sorry for scaring you, sweetie. But your old man's tough. I'm sure this is nothing."_

_Veronica smiled and squeezed Keith's hand, thankful that he was so out of it he hadn't noticed Logan's absence. Keith and Logan had grown very close after an initial rough patch when Keith first discovered that Logan and Veronica were dating. That whole turning Logan in for faking his alibi for Lilly's murder had _not_ gone over well with Logan. And the fact that Logan had faked his alibi… not a point in his favor as far as Keith was concerned. That, and Keith had been aware of Logan's treatment of Veronica after Lilly's death and he had had a hard time believing that Logan wouldn't revert to hurting Veronica when things got rough. He had eventually changed his opinion, though, after watching Logan's devotion to his daughter. _

_Veronica wished with all of her might that she could believe her father and pretend that everything was going to turn out all right. But she had been watching the expressions of the doctors and nurses as they milled around Keith's room, taking blood, checking vitals, running tests. Each and every one of them was grim, but sympathetic, when they caught Veronica looking. There were few reassuring smiles and absolutely no one had told her not to worry. The doctors had promised they should have some answers for her today and she was dreading the news._

_She had called both Mac and Wallace, who had stayed in Neptune to attend Hearst, and they had been as much of a comfort to her as possible. She had stayed close with both of them, but there was only so much they could do when her world was falling apart on all fronts._

"_Ms. Mars… Veronica?" the voice of one of Keith's doctors sounded as he opened the door without knocking, looking down at a file in his hands. "Oh good, Mr. Mars, you're awake." He had finally looked up from his file._

_He remained stone faced as he looked at the father-daughter pair. "We've gotten some test results back and…I'm afraid the news is not good." He paused for a second, seeming to steel himself before continuing on._

"_It appears that you have cancer, Mr. Mars. There is a large tumor located in the frontal lobe of your brain. The tumor is causing extreme pressure in your skull and that's what's been causing your pain and caused you to pass out. Without further tests, we can't be sure, but, based on the tests we have already run and your declining health, we estimate that you're at stage four." The doctor paused, trying to let them process the devastating news he had just dealt them._

(A/N I have no medical knowledge and I didn't do any research into this. I would ask you to take my word for it that Keith's condition is not good.)

"_I know that this is a lot to take in, but there are some decisions you need to make, and I would suggest that you make them quickly." The doctor went on to explain their options, outlining radiation therapy, surgery (not really an option given the size and placement of the tumor), or end of life care where Keith would be made as comfortable as possible while his life faded away. Keith and Veronica were griping each other's hands tightly, staring glassy eyed and unblinking, as the doctor continued explaining various treatments. "Whatever you decide to do, we should definitely transfer you to Mt. Sinai in LA. They are much better equipped to deal with such advanced stages of cancer. Also, if I understand correctly, that will be near your home, correct Ms. Mars?"_

_Veronica nodded numbly. "Should we go ahead and get Dad to this other hospital?" Veronica asked in a dazed voice. "I mean, how do we do that, by ambulance or what? Can we transfer him and then decide what we're going to do?" Veronica was barely holding on, teetering on the brink of panic. She knew that she couldn't rationally discuss any treatment options with Keith right now. She needed to talk to Logan, needed him to wrap her in his arms and kiss her forehead, lie to her and tell her everything was going to be all right. He may be going through some of his own shit right now, but she was confident that he'd pull it together to help get her through this._

"_Yes, Ms. Mars. We can certainly go ahead and transfer your father. In fact, they are aware that Mr. Mars is planning on coming and they have reserved a room for him. We can go ahead and arrange for an ambulance to transport him, pretty much as soon as you're ready." The doctor seemed to be relieved at the idea of getting rid of them without having to answer any more questions. As it turned out, the question he probably most wanted to avoid was the survival rate with this type of tumor. Veronica found out from the doctors in LA that it was not very high, and at stage four, almost non-existent. The question that they were facing now was not if Keith would survive, but how much longer he had left._

_When the doctor left, Veronica turned to her father, unable to keep her tears back any longer, "Daddy? Daddy, I love you." _

"_I love you, too, sweetheart," Keith choked around tears as he pulled Veronica in for a tight hug._

"_Don't worry about anything, OK? We're going to get you to LA, we're going to get you the best doctors there are, and we're going to fight this." Veronica pulled away from her father and roughly brushed away her tears. She was trying hard to make her voice reassuring but she was terrified. The thought of losing her father, her anchor for so long, made her feel small and helpless._

"_Of course we are, honey." Keith smiled at his daughter, tears still running down his cheeks. He knew, deep down, that he didn't have much of a chance of beating this, but he couldn't bring himself to tell his daughter. He had been hiding his illness from himself and Veronica for much too long in the hopes that it would just go away and it was finally catching up to him. He was weary and could barely remember what it was like to live without excruciating bouts of pain. But, the thought of leaving Veronica when she still had so much of life ahead of her was tearing him to shreds. For so long, they had only had each other. It was a comfort to Keith that at least Veronica had Logan now, and when Keith was gone, they could take care of each other. That was his last comforting thought before he drifted under the haze of pain killers once more._

"We transferred Dad to the hospital in LA the next morning. As soon as I made sure that he was comfortable and had everything he needed, I went straight home to talk to you. It was around eleven but I wasn't sure if you'd be up, considering how hard you'd been partying." Veronica was starting to feel tired, really drained from reliving so much emotion in one sitting. Unfortunately, she knew she had to get through a lot more of the story before she was finished.

Logan was starting to look slightly sick. As far as he remembered, he had been vaguely worried that he hasn't seen Veronica for a couple of days and had tried to call her. But then again, maybe he had just thought about calling her and never got around to actually doing it. He was rarely close to sober in late September of that year and sometimes it was hard for him to separate what had actually happened from what he wished had happened or from what someone told him had happened.

"I…I think I need to sit down," he swallowed as he staggered towards the nearest chair. Veronica remained in her spot a second more before she slowly followed him and took the chair next to his.

She continued with a deep sigh, "When I got home, no one was up. So I went to our bedroom and walked in." She swallowed again, trying to keep down the bile rising at the memory of what had happened next.

_Veronica quietly opened the door to her and Logan's room, expecting to find him passed out, trying to sleep off a massive hangover. She did find Logan passed out, but she did not find him alone. Logan was lying face down, sprawled across most of the king sized bed, as he was want to do when he was thoroughly trashed. Snuggled into his side was the same blond girl that Veronica has seen him making out with in what seemed like another lifetime. _

_Veronica felt vomit rising in her throat as she watched the two sleeping forms. She sprinted towards the bathroom, unable to close the door as she barley reached the toilet before spilling the meager content of her stomach. When she was done dry heaving, she pulled herself to her feet with shaking hands. She stared at herself in the mirror and saw a haggard reflection looking back at her, dark circles from lack of sleep, greasy hair from spending too much time at the hospital and not enough time in the shower. As she was staring at her reflection, her shaking hand knocked over an item on the counter. She looked down in a daze and realized that she had knocked over a bottle of face wash that she didn't remember owning. As she examined the countertop further, she realized that there was a whole passel of beauty and grooming products that did not belong to her._

_Veronica felt white hot anger rip through her as she marched back into the bedroom, ready to rip Logan's head off. What. The . Fuck! was he thinking? Did he let some girl move in after she had been gone for a total of _four_ days!? It didn't make any sense and he sure as hell was not getting away with it._

_She entered the bedroom and was about to launch herself at Logan when she realized that their guest was now awake and was sitting on the bed, sheet wrapped around her body under her armpits, waiting for Veronica to reappear. She stopped short, perplexed that this stranger was neither embarrassed nor upset to find her fuck buddy's girlfriend staring at her. For Christ's sake, she couldn't be that dense. There were pictures of her and Logan all over the apartment. She looked around just to confirm that fact and realized, with a sinking feeling, that there were not, in fact, photos of she and Logan all over the bedroom. In fact, it seemed that all of the pictures had been removed from the room, although she did spy what looked like one smashed picture frame in the corner. More disturbing, all of the small things, the debris of her life, that she kept scattered around the room, were absent._

"_What are you doing here?" Veronica was somewhat shocked to hear the girl speak._

"_What?" she asked stupidly, turning her attention back to this girl who had obviously had sex with Logan. In the morning light, she could tell that the girl was young, probably a freshman, and that she was definitely familiar. This was someone that she knew._

"_What are you doing here?" the girl repeated more slowly._

"_What do you mean? I live here. This is my room," Veronica's equilibrium was totally thrown off by her lack of sleep and the bizarre parallel universe she seemed to have walked into where this girl lived here with Logan instead of her. Her voice ended up sounding a little squeaky instead of confident._

"_No, Logan said that you broke up," the girl was once again speaking slowly, as if Veronica was a child and needed things explained to her._

"_What the fuck are you talking about, and who the fuck are you?" Veronica was starting to lose her cool. Logan would _not_ do something like this to her. There was no possible way. He had worked too hard to regain her trust after the way he had treated her after Lilly's death, after he had lied time and again._

"_Don't you remember me? Hannah Griffith. I was a freshman at Neptune when you were a senior?" once again she spoke slowly._

_The name hit Veronica like a punch to the gut. She reached out, unseeing, for the chair she knew was somewhere to her right and sat heavily. Logan and Veronica had broken up briefly the second semester of senior year. Logan had still been so volatile and the pressure from Aaron's upcoming trial was eating at both of them. During their brief split, Logan had started dating a freshman, none other than Hannah Griffith, and delighted in rubbing the relationship in Veronica's face every chance he got. When they had gotten back together not long after Aaron's trial had ended, he admitted that he had latched onto Hannah because she was so trusting and easy to be with. He said that he had never loved her and had missed Veronica the entire time. He had, however, relieved the girl of her virginity. Veronica had been furious when Logan unburdened his guilty conscious by telling her that particular piece of news. First, he never should have taken advantage of the poor girl, and second, he absolutely should have never told Veronica about it. She knew that they were broken up and it wasn't cheating, technically. But, in her mind, she had been so sure that they would get back together that it never occurred to her to date anyone else, much less have sex with someone else. She couldn't help but feel betrayed and it had taken more than a little time to heal that particular hurt and again build up the trust that they had been working so hard for._

_Hannah watched Veronica with the slightest hint of a smug expression. She glanced briefly at Logan before she continued, "I ran into Logan a couple of weeks ago. He told me about how you had broken up with him." She paused and stroked Logan's shoulder with a tender expression affixed to her face. "Poor thing was devastated. I lent him a shoulder to cry on and one thing led to another."_

_Veronica could only stare at Hannah. What she was saying didn't make any sense. Two weeks ago, everything had been relatively fine. Logan had been drinking too much, he and Dick had thrown a few too many parties in the condo over the course of the month, but there had been no hint that Logan wasn't happy with her. But her confidence was completely shaken by this girl sitting on Veronica's side of the bed, stroking Logan's back, and by the complete lack of any of her belongings anywhere around the room._

"_The first time a came over I was a little skeptical because you still had stuff everywhere. When I asked him about it, Logan explained that it had been kind a bad break up and you left in a hurry and you were going to come get your stuff later." Hannah paused again, giving her a superior smile. "I helped Logan pack up some of your things. He seemed to take it pretty hard, but I understood. I'm here to help him through, just like the last time you broke his heart."_

_Veronica stared in complete disbelief at this horrible girl who was smiling sympathetically at her while a tinge of malice played around the corner of her eyes. In four days, it was apparently possible to be completely replaced. Veronica jerked from her chair and headed toward the closet. Just as Hannah had said, her clothes were no longer hanging neatly on their hangers, but seemed to be stuffed into various suitcases and boxes. She turned back towards the bed, her anger winning out over the confusion and hurt for the time being. _

"_Logan!" She spat at the sleeping form of her boyfriend as she shook him. Hannah looked extremely displeased at this turn of events._

"_Logan! Wake up right now and tell me what the fuck is going on!" Logan made a grunting noise but didn't open his eyes._

_Hannah narrowed her eyes at Veronica, apparently for daring to touch her boyfriend, and then gently stroked Logan's cheek. "Sweetie, get up, we need to talk about Veronica." _

_Logan opened his eyes and stared sadly at Hannah, apparently not seeing Veronica standing on the opposite side of the bed behind him. "Veronica's gone," he mumbled before burying his head back into the pillow and passing out again._

"_See?" Hannah spat at Veronica triumphantly. Veronica couldn't help the tears that slid down here cheeks. She still didn't understand what was going on. She was almost positive things had not happened the way Hannah claimed they did. But she was too exhausted, both physically and emotionally to stick around and find out what the real story was. She had to get back to her father. She could deal with this a little while later. _

_Making her decision, Veronica moved back to the closet, grabbed one of the suitcases stuffed with her clothes and emptied it out. She began to repack it with what she would need for the next week or so. She moved to the bathroom and found that all of her belonging had been stuffed in the bottom drawer of the vanity, under some clean towels. Finally, she moved back into the bedroom and began searching through the dresser drawers. All of her drawers were empty. _

_Hannah had been watching her progress and finally asked, annoyed, "What are you looking for?"_

"_The pictures. Where did you put the pictures?" She intentionally asked Hannah where _she _had put the pictures because she was certain that Logan had not hidden them._

"_I'm pretty sure Logan put them in the bottom drawer of the desk," Hannah replied grudgingly. _

_Veronica opened the desk drawers until she found one full of the framed pictures that had once littered the apartment. She pawed through them until she found the one she was looking for, her favorite shot of she, Logan, and her father, taken last year at a Padres game. Everyone was happy and healthy and loved. It was exactly the type of thing that her dad would want in this hospital room. _

_At the thought of her father Veronica couldn't help but take a small, gaspy breath. _

"_God, if you are going to cry, could you do it somewhere else?" apparently Hannah was getting bored with this scene._

_Veronica rose to her feet, clutching the photograph, grabbed her bag, and headed for the door._

"_Oh, you know, maybe you should leave your key," Hannah said in a brightly helpful voice._

"_Fuck you," Veronica retorted with the little venom that she could muster after being mentally and emotionally battered by Logan's apparent new paramour._

_Veronica was able to make it half way across the living room before huge, wracking sobs threatened to overtake her. Feeling vulnerable in the open living room, she raced to the slightly more secluded kitchen, crouched in the corner and cried, screaming into a folded kitchen towel to muffle the sound._

"_Ronnie? Are you OK" Dick's sleepy voice came from over the breakfast bar. Veronica looked up and Dick's face registered shock at seeing Veronica with tears and snot running down her beet red face. Veronica almost never cried, and when she did, it was always short and grudging. She never indulged in a full-on crying fit, as far as Dick knew._

"_Veronica, what is it?" he asked again, moving around the counter and into the kitchen._

_Veronica, horrified at being caught in such a vulnerable moment, jumped to her feet and scrambled around Dick and out of the kitchen._

"_Nothing, its nothing. I don't want to talk about it," she managed to force out. She walked quickly into the living room and grabbed her bag, headed for the door._

"_Veronica, where are you going?" Dick was growing alarmed at this turn of events. _

"_Um, I have to go away for a couple of days. Don't worry, I'll be back," this last promise was delivered with a steely voice. Dick, Hannah, and Logan could bet their asses that she would be back to sort this out later. If Logan was getting rid of her, she was going to put him through a little hell before he did it. He couldn't just kick her out while she wasn't looking._

_Veronica paused as she opened the door. Without turning she asked, "Could you tell Logan to call me, please? I really need to talk to him." With that, she left her apartment and headed for the hospital._


	4. Chapter 4 - Logan Denies it All

Chapter 4: Logan denies it all.

"No, no Veronica, that's _not_ what happened." Logan shook his head adamantly. He was pretty sure that he was going to throw up any second now. He was almost positive that things couldn't have happened the way Veronica was describing, but he also knew that Veronica wouldn't lie. He had obviously started sleeping with Hannah before he had broken up with Veronica and Veronica had known. Of course she had left him…he was a selfish, horrible, idiot. He had never regretted his out of control drinking, reckless behavior, and overall assholeness more than he did right now. He had always known that he had driven Veronica away but he couldn't stomach that he had betrayed her so thoroughly.

"I hadn't seen you in days and then all of your stuff was packed up and you had taken all of your favorite clothes. I thought you had left me. Why the fuck didn't you make me talk to you?" Logan's voice was desperate. No matter what realizations he was coming to in his own mind, he did not want to admit to Veronica that he had taken home some girl in a blackout and let that girl manipulate him into thinking Veronica was gone. It was too stupid. He certainly didn't want to admit to himself or Veronica that he had gone back to easy, trusting Hannah instead of turning to Veronica for help when he was at his lowest.

"I did try to talk to you!" Veronica screamed at Logan, her anger returning full force. "I called and left messages, begging for you to meet me so we could talk. You never answered the phone and you never called me back." Her voice was filled with hurt and accusation again.

"Yeah, I remember some of those messages. You sounded like you had awful news you wanted to tell me. I wasn't too keen to get together to have you hash out how horrible I was and listen to all the reasons you were leaving my sorry ass…" Logan stopped his bitter tirade as a realization hit him. He looked up at Veronica with wide eyes. "Oh my god, you were trying to tell me about your dad?"

"Yeah, I was trying to tell you about my dad." Veronica confirmed tiredly. It was painful to remember how Keith had asked to see Logan over and over again and Veronica had made up one lie after another about why Logan couldn't be with him. She had told Keith that it was too hard for Logan to watch the only real father figure he had known slip away when he had just lost Aaron, but that Logan sent his love and support. She thought that lie would be less painful to Keith than the truth that Logan didn't give a shit and didn't even know that Keith was dying.

"I even tried to talk to you on campus a few times…even though you were always with Hannah after that. Do you at least remember that?"

Logan felt the bile rising in his throat. He did remember how he had treated Veronica when she had approached him on campus a few times after she had moved out. He had been so hurt when he realized that she had moved out all of her belongings without even talking to him about it that he had barely been able to look at her. He had buried himself in more alcohol and the embrace of sweet, understanding Hannah. He was starting to think Hannah hadn't turned bitter later on in their relationship but had been a hard, bitter, manipulative girl all along and he had just been too drunk to see it.

"I told you to stop acting desperate," Logan said quietly. "I told you that I wasn't taking you back so you should leave me alone."

"Yeah, it's more like you screamed that at me. You ridiculed me in public and let your new little girlfriend laugh at me." It was Veronica's turn to have bitterness creep into her voice.

"God, Veronica, I am so sorry," tears were threatening, making his voice shake. His hands were shaking violently as he rehashed one of the worst time in his life.

"I was just so angry at you. You had moved out all of your stuff without even talking to me about it and I didn't understand, and Hannah was there letting me be a complete mess and holding my hand. It was… it was more than I could take and I lashed out at you." Logan's attempts at justification sounded hollow.

Veronica stared at him, trying to gauge his sincerity. "Are you kidding me?" She asked, genuinely curious.

"What? Of course I'm not kidding you," he responded with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. What else happened that he had been too drunk or stoned to remember?

"You were there when I came to pick up my stuff. Actually, I wasn't even there to pick up my stuff. I was there to wait for you and make you talk to me. I still had my key so I let myself into our bedroom and waited." Veronica's eyes shifted away from Logan as she remembered their encounter.

"You came in kind of late that night. I had fallen asleep waiting for you. Thank god Hannah wasn't with you that night." Veronica cut her eyes back to Logan to see if he was remembering any of this. It did not appear that he was which, in Veronica's opinion, was not so bad.

"You shook me awake and asked me what the fuck I was doing there. I asked you if there was a problem with me being there to which you informed me that we had broken up." Veronica was continuing the story in a clinical manner. The version of events she was telling Logan was not exactly what had happened but, if he didn't remember, she wasn't going to let him in on the secret.

"I told you that I had some stuff that I needed to talk to you about and you told me that there was absolutely nothing we could have left to talk about. You passed out and I decided maybe it really was time to get my stuff and move out."

"I took all of my stuff that I could and I crammed it into my SUV. Thank god you talked me into such a big car." She let out a small laugh as she remembered the argument that she and Logan had had when she was shopping for a car after the Le Baron had given up the ghost.

"I had been staying in a motel near the hospital but I was able to find a studio apartment that was furnished. It was close enough to the hospital where I could pretty much be there at a moments notice. I was also just barely close enough to campus to continue taking some of my classes. I dropped all of my classes except a couple of my major requirements so I was able to finish out the semester at least."

Logan stared at Veronica, taking in her explanation and trying to imagine how hard it must have been for her to handle everything on her own. He couldn't believe all of the pain he had caused her. He had convinced himself over the years that it was Veronica who had caused pain to _him_. That Veronica had been a heartless bitch and left him when he needed her most. That Veronica had just simply not told him that Keith, the man he loved like a father, was sick and dying. Of course it turned out that it was just another lie he told himself so that the knowledge of all of the awful things he had done, the awful person that he had been, did not overwhelm him. He had faced a lot of ugly truths about himself and his past when he had decided to clean up his act. Until now, he had been able to avoid this particular truth. Of course, he had had Hannah and Dick to back up his version of the facts. Now, with Veronica's version of events running through his head, he could see how everything that Dick had seen and heard could be easily misconstrued, especially considering that he hadn't been much better off than Logan at the time. And, apparently, Hannah was never the sweet innocent savior that he had built her up to be in his mind.

"Why would you still even bother trying to talk to me after that?" He asked, truly curious. "I mean, my memory's a little fuzzy through that particular stretch, but you even kept on trying to talk to me after I had yelled at you a couple of times."

Veronica stared at Logan, trying to decide exactly how bad she wanted to hurt him and how much she could give away without hurting herself. She remembered how scared and alone she had been. How utterly betrayed she had felt. How every feeling of inadequacy had rushed back to her and how she had been a shaking mess except for when she had to hold it together in front of her dad. She thought about how insignificant she felt, and how having Logan yell at her and laugh at her had catapulted her directly back to sophomore and junior year in high school when he had been her tormenter. She thought about how she had seen endless pictures of he and Hannah in the tabloids and how she had lied to Wallace and Mac because she was ashamed, feeling like it was somehow her fault that Logan had left her. Now, she definitely wanted to hurt him as badly as possible.

"Dad kept on asking for you," she paused, looking directly into Logan's stricken eyes. "Dad kept on asking for you and I was willing to do almost anything to make him happy." It wasn't the total truth but her aim was true. She could feel the pain radiating off of Logan with this last bit of news.

Abruptly, Logan dove for a trashcan sitting under the large table Veronica used to lay out thumbnail prints of her pictures and to spread out equipment during shoots. He vomited noisily, huddled on the ground. He continued to dry heave for a few minutes after he had purged everything in his stomach. After the dry heaving had ceased, Logan remained on the floor, sobbing into the crook of his elbow. Veronica watched him but didn't make any move to comfort him. She wasn't totally heartless and the memory of the boy she had loved so much was making it hard not to go to him. She ruthlessly reminded herself that he had abandoned her, that he couldn't be trusted, and she couldn't afford to let him back into her life. It still took all of her will power not to gather him into her arms and rock him like a child.

Finally, Logan regained control and moved back to his chair. "Tell me…" Logan had to clear his throat to dislodge the huge knot that was making it hard for him to speak. "Tell me about Keith. What was it like?"

Veronica looked at Logan for a second before she began her narrative. She hated talking about Keith's last days, but if Logan wanted to know, she would tell him. He had loved Keith, after all, and Keith had loved him.

"When we talked to the specialists in LA, they told us that the survival rate for his type of tumor was extremely low. Something like 15%. So, basically, we needed a miracle for him to survive. On top of that, they explained that most of those survival statistics where for people who were much younger, and therefore much stronger, than Dad. They said that we could do radiation, hoping to shrink the tumor so that surgery was a viable option, but that it was extremely unlikely that it would work. They recommended that we forgo any curative treatments and just try to make him as comfortable as possible." Veronica swallowed, remembering how mad she had been at the doctors, at the world. She hadn't been ready to give up. She had fought with her father. He had wanted to go home and live as peacefully as he could for what little time he had left. He had begged her to understand, to let him go.

"I insisted that we try the radiation." Her voice was almost a whisper. "I…I just wasn't ready to let him go. He tried to explain to me that he didn't want to be so sick for his last little bit of time and that there was almost no chance that it would work." A tear slid down Veronica's cheek.

Veronica's face burned hot at the memory of the things that she had said to her father to make him undergo radiation. "I begged and I screamed at him. I told him he couldn't leave me, that I needed him. He finally agreed to do it, for me. He was worried, too, because our insurance denied coverage, claiming that his doctors had recommended against it and that treatment was futile. But, you know Dad's books had done so well so I convinced him that I would rather spend the money trying to keep him alive than have it to spend after he was dead."

"He went through radiation, and he was _so_ sick and miserable. He was so sick that he had to stay in the hospital the entire time." Veronica clasped her hands together to stop the violent tremors running through them.

"He finally made it through radiation, but it barely had any effect at all. But by then, he was too sick to even go home for his last few days." Veronica swallowed a couple of times before she was able to go on. "He died in early December." Veronica wiped her tears away. There was little that she regretted more than making her father's last months miserable by insisting on radiation. She had just been so scared and so utterly alone. Mac and Wallace had constantly visited and tried to support her, but she had known that they could never be the kind of support system that Logan and her father had once been. On top of that, she just wasn't as close to Mac and Wallace as she had been in high school. At the time, she had liked to think it was an inevitability of attending different schools, but now she realized that maybe she had just been too wrapped up in her own life to properly keep up with the friends that had meant so much to her and had always had her back.

Logan was wiping away his own silent tears as he listened to her story. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, Veronica." There was true anguish in his voice and Veronica believed him. It was hard, sitting here close enough to touch him, not to remember the sweet boy who had been totally in love with her and would have done anything for her…even if he did fuck up on occasion and indulged in some binge drinking here and there. She had kept a bitter picture of Logan in her head and heart for so long, but faced with him in flesh and blood, with sincere, pain filled eyes, it was hard to…it was just hard. But she had to remind herself that she couldn't trust him again. Even if he hadn't intentionally hurt her, like he seemed to be claiming, he had gotten so out of control that he had allowed her to be hurt…badly. She couldn't be a part of that again.

"I still don't understand why you left, though." Logan understood the pain that losing her father must have caused her. Then, pile on top of that that fact that Logan had shredded any trust and security that she had been able to build over the years, he understood that she probably needed to lick her wounds. What he didn't understand was her need to completely disappear without a trace.

"When I got it together spring semester, you were just gone. I called Wallace to see what was going on with you. He didn't say word one about your dad, by the way." Logan was still bitter that Wallace had let him find out about Keith's death on his own. "He told me that you had decided to study abroad for your final semester, take some of those amazing photography courses you were always talking about and just kind of lay low. That made sense, but I still wanted to talk to you. Explain to you about Hannah and, I don't know, get your blessing or something." A bark of laughter escaped him at the sheer ridiculousness of that thought in hindsight.

"When I checked with the school, they said you had withdrawn and there was no record of you enrolling in any of the study abroad programs." Logan's voice was kind of far away as he remembered how confused he had been and how his trepidation had grown with each passing day that he couldn't find Veronica. "I finally decided to check with your dad. I was trying to avoid talking to him because I didn't want to hear what he had to say about our break up. I wasn't feeling too great about it, not remembering huge chunks of that fall, and I wasn't sure what you had told him. But when I finally gave in, I found that his number had been disconnected. When I showed up at your old apartment, someone else was living there and he told me he was pretty sure the guy who had been living there had died." It was Logan's turn to stare at his shoes, miserable in the memories he was reliving.

"I went a little crazy. I looked it up in public records and, sure enough, Keith had died and there was an obituary and funeral notice and everything. I was _so_ mad at you for not telling me." His voice cracked. "Hannah was there for me, though. She really supported me, helped me get my shit together, you know." He looked up and realized that this was probably not the best information to relay.

"Yeah, so I was reminded, time and again, through every tabloid on earth," the bitter edge in her voice was hard to disguise. "That's why I left Logan. I needed to lick my wounds in private and since you and Hannah had become this golden couple, 'high school sweet hearts, reunited', I was back on the radar as the jealous ex-girlfriend and I was fair game for the paparazzi. Not long after Dad died and I was trying to get back to my normal life, I started getting followed everywhere and they started putting pictures of me looking like shit inset in pictures of you sticking your tongue down Hannah's throat at some club."

"So I decided to drop off the grid for a while. I knew all of the tricks and I didn't really think anyone would be looking for me for a while anyway. I made myself an entire new identity as Stuart Reynolds. My middle name, you know Dad always wanted a boy, and my mom's maiden name. I went a little overboard with fake passports and lifting a social security number from some poor dead kid that I could use. But I had a lot of time on my hands…and it all came in handy when I decided that I wanted to stay gone."

Veronica gave Logan an appraising look. For all these years, one question had been eating away at her more than any other.

"Why, Logan? Whey did you decide to get your shit together for Hannah when you would never do it for me?"

Logan flinched at the pain he heard in Veronica's voice. "It wasn't her over you, Veronica. It never was. I always loved you more than anyone. You have to know that." He was at least confident that she had to know that he had always loved her. "I was just so fucked up about Aaron and some other stuff that was going on and I was having a hard time letting you know what was happening or even really caring about anyone but myself at that point."

"When I was at my lowest and I thought you were gone for good, Hannah kind of showed up like some sort of angel of understanding. She let me be as completely fucked up as I wanted to be, let me drink, smoke pot, pop pills, whatever. She went to parties with me, she listened to me rant and rave, she never complained about the paparazzi following us. She was the easiest person to be with because she let me keep on sliding down instead of making me snap out of it."

Logan shook his head a little bit, still amazed that he hadn't at least gotten alcohol poisoning during that time. "I didn't get my shit together until Hannah informed me that she was pregnant. She was apparently pretty lax on birth control, and you know my horny ass wasn't on top of it." Logan scrubbed both hands over his face and through his hair, again bewildered that he couldn't draw any real memories out of that murky period of time. "I know its not her fault, I should have been more responsible, but I was so fucked up all the time and for some reason I thought she was on birth control." Logan shook his head again, thinking about all of the stupid things he had done in the past.

"I was completely freaked out at first. You know how scared I have always been of becoming just like Aaron. But then, I realized that I didn't really have a choice about whether this little one was coming or not so the only way I could make sure that I didn't turn out like Aaron was if I got my act together and was a real father to my son that was on his way." Logan smiled despite himself. The thought of his son always made him smile. "It was hard, but I got myself under control. I still drink here and there but nothing like I used to in high school and college." Logan looked up into Veronica's eyes, "I'm so sorry that I put you through so much because I couldn't control myself." Again, he sounded completely sincere when he apologized.

"But, of all the stupid things I've done because of alcohol, I could never regret Ethan. I love him so much." Veronica could see the love shining in his eyes, overshadowing the turmoil and pain that had predominated the last hour.

"So, getting knocked up was the only thing I had to do, huh?" Veronica tried to keep her voice light but she could hear a tiny bit of bitterness.

Logan laughed, "Like there is any way that you were going to let that happen. No matter how persistent I was or how much I pouted or how much I drunkenly mauled you, you were always responsible enough for both of us. You were like a drill sergeant with birth control."

"Yeah," Veronica nodded half-heartedly, not looking at Logan.

"Anyway, I was able to straighten up before Ethan was born. His middle name is Keith, you know." Veronica nodded, she of course had seen that piece of information in the tabloids.

"Hannah and I never got married because everything kind of happened so fast. I wanted to find you and tell you what was going on so you wouldn't be blindsided, but I guess it didn't really work out that way, huh?" Logan chuckled without humor. "Hannah and I moved in together. I bought a new house for our new family and, at first, everything was absolutely perfect. Hannah supported me when I decided to pursue acting." Logan quickly glanced up at Veronica.

"That's one of the things I wasn't telling you right before we broke up. Harvey, Aaron's agent, had started sending me scripts and asking me to read for a couple of parts. I know I had always said I would never follow in Aaron's footsteps, but some of these scripts were actually really good. And I'm _good_ at acting. And, even though I really wanted to direct, I knew that if I got a name in the industry as an actor, it would make it easier to move into directing instead of trying to make it as the son of the former A-list actor, current murderer, Aaron Echolls. I just didn't know how to tell you that I was really thinking about it because you hated Aaron and you hated being in the public eye. I just thought you would completely reject the idea." Logan looked at Veronica for a response and received a nod, indicating that he should continue.

"Yeah, but I got into acting and it has actually been going really well," Logan paused for breath, having rushed through his explanation of how he had gotten into acting. He still felt guilty about not confiding in Veronica after all of these years.

"I know, only twenty-eight and you already have an Oscar. Not too shabby," Veronica had followed Logan's career and had seen every single one of his movies. It was kind of nice to see his face while he pretended to be someone else. She could enjoy some of her old memories without having to deal with the actual person who had betrayed her. She had been constantly impressed with Logan's ability and with the quality of movies he always seemed to pick.

"Mmm, that was more luck and politics than anything else," Logan brushed off her praise. "At some point, Hannah and I just started drifting apart. I was never in love with her. I was just kid of using her as a stop-gap because you were gone and then she got pregnant and we just kind of started living this life." The memory of how fast he had gone from being a drunken fraternity boy to a dad was still staggering. "Then we started to fall apart, not talking to each other, barely seeing each other. She hated that I couldn't stop looking for you and I had some suspicions that she was cheating, but she was at least discreet. When I told her that I thought we should break up, she went absolutely insane. She told me that she'd make sure I never saw Ethan again." Logan swallowed audibly, the thought of losing his son making his mouth dry. "I caved and told her we'd try to work things out but, after that, she made it her mission to make my life a living hell. I finally couldn't take it anymore and decided that I'd fight for joint custody."

"I don't know if you followed the story," he looked up at Veronica who nodded. She had followed the story that had unfolded in not only the entertainment news, but the legitimate press as well. "She went after me, trying to deny me any custody rights at all. She…she brought up Aaron's abuse and accused me of abusing her and Ethan. She was the only other person I'd told about Aaron other than you. I only told her because I was so scared about turning into him… and she used it against me." Veronica, having abstained from voluntarily touching Logan up until this point, reached out and squeezed his hand. "She said that I was an alcoholic and that I was cheating on her. None of it was true but that hardly matters when you give the papers a good story. Someone dug up all of my medical records, even the x-rays I had when Weevil and his gang beat the crap out of me. They had some expert on CNN going over all of my old bone fractures and emergency room visits, outlining the abuse I must have endured. There showed pictures of me shirtless that some paparazzi had gotten while I was surfing and went over all of my scars. It was fucking awful."

Veronica bit her lip. She had cried for Logan, watching his most closely held secrets splashed across the media. No matter what he had done to her, he didn't deserve that kind of treatment. She was proud of him for keeping his silence about the abuse, not giving in to the constant pressures for interviews and the calls to answer the accusations.

"My lawyers told me that if I didn't strike back, I might actually lose Ethan. So, I let them go after her. They dug up all kind of dirt on her that I didn't know existed. It turns out she was cheating on me, she had a little coke habit on the side, just all kinds of fun stuff. Thank god for the nanny or who knows what would have happened to Ethan while I was on set." Logan interlaced his fingers with Veronica's, taking comfort from her touch. "I was so scared that I was going to lose Ethan that I let them completely go after her. Plus, her outing me about the abuse backfired a little, made everyone sympathetic toward me. I ended up getting full custody of Ethan and Hannah didn't even get visitation rights. I guess it helped that my lawyers were able to prove that most of her accusation, especially the abuse charges, were false. I've offered to let Hannah come visit Ethan, but she's never taken me up on it. She doesn't see Ethan at all, now." He laughed again, bitterly. "I don't even talk to her any more. My track record's pretty bad, huh?"

Veronica nodded. She was aware of exactly how ruthless Logan had been in his custody battle. True, Hannah had struck first, but Logan hadn't held back. He had shown exactly how far he was willing to go to make sure he kept his child.

A/N – Hi! I wanted to let everyone know how much I appreciate the comments. Also, I want to apologize for making some of you hate Logan. That certainly wasn't my intention. True, Logan has done some pretty awful things in this story and, spoiler alert, you're going to find out about one more awful thing in the next chapter. However, I'm not trying to make Logan out to be a completely evil, unlovable character. I'm playing off of some characteristics I think he had in the show. For example, he often trusted the wrong people and was easily manipulated. He also had a tendency to go on a bender when he was upset. The same goes for how I'm writing how Veronica dealt with the situation. Yes, she always comes off as strong but she can be extremely insecure and had deep rooted trust issues (for good reason). So –that's that. I debated writing this author's note because I kind of feel like if I have to explain what I'm doing I'm not doing a very good job of writing the story. But, that's the beauty of fan fiction, you can talk to your readers and get real time feed back. So, thank you so much for reading!


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